Probably my favorite poet is Rosario Morales’ “I Am What I Am,” did not just inspire me but changed my world. For the first time ever in my life I realized I was not the only white skinned mestizo born Puerto Rican Jew who loves the Queen’s English and the BBC. It was that astounding moment for me, who has always stood out and never really belonged to a group or a race now was not the only one in the universe.
It is not just an important piece for the whole (maybe three of us in existence) race of Hispanic Puerto Rican Jews with Christianity and Academia mixed in; but rather it is an important work for any women of mixed heritage. It is a bold and brassy non-apologetic look at those of us who shouldn’t be categorized and shouldn’t be expected to give up part of themselves to fit into another categorization. “I am what I am and I am US American I haven’t wanted to say it because if I did you’d take away the Puerto Rican but now I say go to hell I am what I am and you can’t take it away with all the words and sneers at your command…”
Even the form of the work is amazing. There are no periods and few breaks. There is a sense of continuity with each part of who she is as almost to say that if she were to end part of who she was with a sentence you the reader would categorize her as that and cut off other parts of her. It is one take it or leave it statement and the reader has to read it just as that.
The idea of “I am who I am” is in a direct relationship with the biblical reference of the Hebrew saying אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה, ehyeh ašer ehyeh. Often the English translation is I am who I am. Morales is not trying to state she is Moses in this poem but rather is both celebrating her Jewish heritage and more importantly stating her divine role God has given her. By token she is telling the reader to embrace who they are. In Hebrew teachings it is our divine right as humans to accept the unique individuality and roles God has given us. “Take me or leave me alone.” Is the only period in the piece and the ending to her statement, which is fitting.
In feminism where everyone categorizes themselves and others, there is not enough dialogue when it comes to uniting sisters under umbrellas rather than marking them as one thing as another. Is Chicana feminism only for Mexicans if we share many of the same stories and even the Chupacabra? That is what Morales is getting at through her piece. Women are complex beings and so is race, culture, nationality, sexual orientation, hobbies, and education. To fit into one category, what do we as women give up? We as women need to celebrate who we are and all that we are unapologetically.
In my life I’m not bold. I try to be bold but than I become very apologetic. I am scared to be who I am and I still don’t know how to embrace myself. I read her works a lot and in my academic career I’m trying to emulate her. I am trying to learn not to apologize for who I am. Not allow myself to be written off because I am a mom or I struggle with bad health. I am not at that point yet of total bravery where I can say “I am Who I am”, but one day I will be.
"I am what I am, I'm a mother and a wife. There I said it and now you will limit me. I'm skinny and often contagious, I have bruises because my iron is low and I can't clot worth shit. I didn't ask to be this way no less than Magneto asked to be a mutant. But fuck you, I'm still here and I'm still worth something."
-A little bit of Francisca.
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